Urhg!

It’s been kind of quiet around here lately, but let me tell you, I’m  swamped at work at the moment, what with christmas coming up and what not.

I can however, tell you this:

1) I threw my back out in november and it hasn’t gotten any better (yet).

2) I got a horrible phlem-gy cold from sitting in a draft at the christmas party at work. (Excellent party though! Danced the night away which is probably why my back is acting up).

3) I bought and wrapped all of my christmas presents before december 8th. You may hate me (I do a little. Imagine the pressure put on me for next year. Yikes!)

4) It is snowing right now as I type this. Should make the bike ride home interesting.

5) I went to an outlet sale for danish label Rützou (www.rutzou.com) yesterday, and I COMPLETELY understand why you shouldn’t bring your boyfriend/husband to such an event. Even I got a little stressed out.

6) I’ll turn 29 (again) in 12 days. I’m old (-er).

7) I LOVE parenthesis! (It’s true. I really do).

8 ) The Air concert I went to in november kind of blew.

That’s all for now, I must get back to work, but if I don’t see you before christmas, HAPPY HOLIDAYS! You are all beautiful, extraordinary people.

5 things I will never understand.

1) Computers.

Computers baffle me. Anything that comes after “turn your computer on” will confuse med. (Did I ever tell you, when I got my MAC I turned it on, but couldn’t figure out how to turn it off? It took me DAYS, no joke!)

2) Math.

I will never understand math. That is all.

3) Oysters (as a food, not in terms of conversation or similar).

Let’s be frank. Oysters don’t look yummy. Who ever got the idea to eat one, and then all of a sudden it was a delicacy? Well played oysters, you cunning creatures of the sea.

4) People who wear socks with sandals.

Why? Whyyyyyy? Everybody else got the memo ten years ago. Are you stubborn? Or is it possible that you think it looks good? If your feet are cold wear shoes with socks, damn it, I can’t look at it one more time and not say anything.

5) Men.

Actually I believe I do know a little bit about men, but one thing I will never understand, is why MEN don’t seem to understand women. Enlighten me please.

Party, party everywhere.

So! Last week was certainly eventful. Here’s how it went down, as I know you’ve just been biting your nails in anticipation of my update (just humour me).

Wednesday I went to a Tower of Power concert with my dad and my boyfriend. I love, love, LOVE Tower of Power. Hearing them live is like nothing else. They come from Oakland and have been playing since 1968 and are still going strong. If you get the chance (and like funk) do go and see them, you will not regret it. 

Thursday my workplace had its 50’Th. Anniversary. I won’t write too much about work stuff, because we all know what happens when you do that, but let me just say, that it was lovely and very festive, and truly a night to be remembered.

Also, I wore a very cute red dress, and am apparently trying to hypnotize the photographer. Can you believe this is actually one of the best photos ever taken of me? I lack the ability to look normal in front of a camera. But anyway, let’s just blame it on the Corona:

Friday I bought the last must have items for my (early) birthday. Items like tonic and lime and straws. 

Saturday I had my fabulous birthday party. FUN! I got so many great gifts, and one of my friends even showed up an hour early to do my hair. I’m so happy all of my friends like each other. I can just invite whomever, and people will always have something to talk about and get along. We had karaoke (or singstar really, but pretty much the same thing) which was a big hit.

My friend Rikke gave me a really cool silk dress from rützou a couple of weeks before, so of course I wore that. I also managed to spill something down the front that left a stain, hopefully the dry cleaner will get it out.

 (no stain yet!)

At some point during the evening I managed to throw my back out, so on top of the hangover and the very few hours of sleep, I was all kinds of pathetic the next day and irritable. Just ask my boyfriend who had to vacuum for me and even cook, gasp!

This week I’m house and cat sitting, and going to yet another concert, this time with french band AIR:

I’m also playing Action Hat with some friends, I believe I’ve posted the rules for Action Hat in a previous post, so if you feel like it, go look for that. It’s kind of like charades.

Anyway, I’ve been doing a ton of things lately, and also have a lot to look forward to. Let’s not forget the christmas lunches coming in just a matter of days.

I can’t belive we’ve almost gone through another year.

Swineflu

 

 

 

What have I been up to?

Hello guys. I’m back from Amsterdam. In fact I’ve been back for a couple of days, but then there was a party, and a friend got a Wii, and then there was a concert, and then I got fucking smacked with the flu stick so hard my head came of and left nothing but a fountain of snot. Yes. You’re welcome.

So here’s how the trip to Amsterdam went in short:

Day zero: Arrived so late we went straight to bed. So did all the bed bugs. Next to me.

Day one: Go to cat museum, argue with boyfriend (because we both fell down the stubborn tree and hit every branch on the way down). Go to fancy restaurant with singing waiters. Or was that the next day? Anyway, it was very nice. http://www.kattenkabinet.nl/home.html (yeah, I still don’t have the linking thing down) and http://www.pastaebasta.nl/.

Day two: Go to Anne Franks house, see the gay monument, go to Vincent van Gogh museum. At night go to coffee shop, then go home and watch Animal Planet and eat cheese snacks (we’re such a cliché!).

http://www.annefrank.org/splashpage.asp, http://www.pinkpoint.org/homomonument.htm and http://www.vangoghmuseum.nl/vgm/index.jsp?lang=nl (this linking thing is getting OLD!).

Day three: Go to Amsterdam Zoo. Do it, do it, do it! We got there at the snakes feeding time. I’m not sure if that is a good or a bad thing. We considered it good. Or interesting at least. http://www.artis.nl/international/index.html

Day four: Walk around on feet now reduced to minced meat. Go into American bookstore for the 14 billionth time (I love that place!). Pick massive fight with boyfriend who is being a jerk. Possibly also being a jerk myself. Go to the airport and fly home. Sit next to screaming kids on plane. Screaming kid no. 1 coughs on me. Ew. http://www.abc.nl/.

Saturday: Back home. Going to party.

Sunday: Go to concert at VEGA with Röyksopp which is phenomenal.

Monday: Back at work. Huh, am feeling weird. Maybe bed bug bites aren’t bed bug bites. Maybe I’ve caught some horrible flesh eating disease!

Tuesday:

Haven’t got

a) flesh eating disease (YET!)

b) anything to drink

c) any will to live.

HAVE got:

a) a fever of 104.

b) a strong desire to kill all screaming and coughing kids on planes in the WORLD.

So that’s about it. I’m back at work now, but am having a pretty relaxed weekend, because next week is going to be CRAZY with parties and concerts and all kinds of awesomeness. More about that later.

Yes! Vacation yet again. But I need your advice.

In not too many days I’m off to Amsterdam for the first time in my life. I’ve been reading up on Amsterdam, and have a pretty good idea of what I want to see.

Here’s the catch though. I’m not away for more than a couple of days so obviously I can’t go to all the museums I want to, without losing some shopping time. A girl has got to shop. A girl also needs new boots.

If you have been to Amsterdam, what do you recommend that I see/do? Remember I’m only there for a limited amount of time, so I don’t feel to inclined to wait in line outside a museum for hours (really want to see the Anne Frank museum, but I heard, that the line is Cuh-razy!).

I’m also going to a concert with norwegian band Röyksopp (in Denmark). This vacation is going to be awesome!

Felix the beauty queen.

There’s no easy way to say this, but I have oficially gone crazy.

Two days ago, I was reading the (Danish) news (in danish), and this little pop up thing came flashing up, all “HEY! LOOK HERE! DON’T YOU WANT TO ENTER YOUR CAT IN A BEAUTY CONTEST?”, and instead of reacting normally like “not on your life!” I thought “What a wonderful idea”. 

Yes I did.

So I clicked the damn thing and 1-2-3, easy peasy, hey presto, entered Felix in the contest.

I. Entered. My. Cat. In. A. Beaty. Contest. On. The. Internet.

In my defence I will say, that it’s not like I was actively researching a way to lose whatever little sanity I had left. Crazy internet can read minds, and placed the pop up for me to trip over. And it worked. Kudos internet, super villain of all time.

So now Felix is in a beauty contest, and I’m sure he’s got that thing down, because he is super cute, and as my friend Sasja commented “objectively speaking, all the other cats look creepy”, and I, of course, agree in a very objective way.

But - and I fear to say this, because then you will know I’ve lost it – someone keeps voting for all the creepy cats! That shit is RIGGED, I’m sure!

Because just look at this face:

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaw right?

Clearly the face of a winner.

So, if you want to vote for Felix (this might be hard, if you don’t understand danish, but give it a go if you have nothing else to do) go to www.catlounge.dk, click on the picture of a cat (not Felix) with a medal on it and then click stem på de andre smukke deltagere (vote for the other beautiful contestants), search for Felix, and look for the picture above, and give him your vote, and in return, Felix will love you forever. You can give him your vote every day. If you want to. Please.

Now I gotta go look for some marbels I seem to have lost,

Agony; thy name is wisdom tooth. (an entry going nowhere)

Hi, hello there, I’m back, did you miss me? I missed you guys! Not only am I back, I’m back with extra teeth (or tooth to be exact). Do you like it? I feel toothier. When I smile, it’s wall-to-wall teeth is what I’m saying, Crest throw me an endorsement deal or something.

Ok, to be perfectly honest, I was kind of hoping I would never get wisdom teeth. My school days are over, I have no use for them now (now that I know everything that is, ahem!), but suddenly at the ripe age of 29 someone decided: “you know what would be fun? MORE TEETH”. But do you know what’s not fun? Yeah, MORE TEETH. There’s no room for them in my mouth. Why can’t they continue living in my brain and take up all the extra wisom space, I have no use for (ok, so technically I’m not sure that’s correct, but since I’ve already boasted that I know EVERYTHING, you’ll just have to take my word for it).

Anyway, someone decided to grant me with a tooth while I wasn’t paying attention, which is most of the time, but, of course, they couldn’t just leave it on the doorstep, or send it down the river moses style. No, they placed it directly on top of ANOTHER tooth. A tooth that already lives in my mouth, and pays rent, and doesn’t play loud music or anything. I would tell the new tooth to find a place in the back, only there isn’t any back of my mouth left, just throat. Also, new tooth is digging into my cheek, possibly trying to get through to the other side and ultimately take over the world.

WHO NEEDS MORE TEETH NOW?  I’m really annoyed by it. It’s like getting something for free that you don’t really want. Like a flyer from Jehovas Witnesses. (I’m all for you guys, keep doing what you do as long as it makes you happy, but no thank you to the flyers. I’m not a religious person).

In case you don’t know where I’m going with this, I’ll give you a hint:

 

OW!

 

So I asked my dad the dentist how much it was supposed to hurt before I started contemplating getting rid of the damn thing, and my dad’s mouth said :

“Whenever you want”

But his eyes clearly said:

“Let’s get the sucker OUT!”

Which, you know, would be totally fine, except it would be me in the chair of PAIN! and AGONY! And my dad on the right side of the drill.

So right now, I don’t know what to do. But I kind of hope, this sudden appearance of tooth (like magic!) won’t get the rest any ideas, because then I’ll have to post an add on Craigs List:

“Extra tooth desperately seeking room for rent”.

Second entry in a day, everyone is amazed!

Well, not really an entry, just something real quick. (-ish).

See I have this friend, and this friend claims he doesn’t like animals, and soon he won’t like me either, because I am about to betray him BIG TIME!

Ladies and gentlemen I give you: THE GUY WHO HATES ANIMALS (drumroll)

  

   Gasp. Shriek. Faint (and so on).

Now I know what you’re thinking, how can the poor cat stand such torture? Turns out, a couple of days earlier (see the change of shirt.. and shorts… SHORTS), this devious human being had his first go at the cat. Also, Yasmin is a tough cookie:

Over and out.

Stupid things I’ve done during the past month (in chronological order).

1) Poured boiling hot pasta water on my hand.

 

I sat with my hand in ice water for an hour, but then went to the movies @ Filmstationen. While sitting there, my hand begun to sting again. Thankfully I had a cold beer to ease the pain.

 

2) Burned my arm on the oven while baking bread.

 

Now this is something I ALWAYS do. However, I do believe my oven is plotting to kill me, or at least take off my right arm. It has nothing to do with me being too lazy to bend down; it’s clearly the oven who is a complete psychopath. Also, it’s got shifty eyes, so there.

 

3) Scraped my elbow on a potato peeler.

 

Now, I’m kind of proud of this one, so if you could just give me a round of applause and then I’ll go on.

 

Waiting.

 

Waiting.

 

Aaaaw, thanks you guys. (shut up, I know I heard SOMEONE clapping).

 

I had just put the potato peeler off to dry, and then tried to get something of the top shelf in my kitchen cabinet, and as I lowered my arm (at 50 mph apparently) my elbow got caught on the potato peeler, and made a delightful ripping sound. Like so: RIIIIIIIIIIP. Imagine the sound of steel cutting into flesh, and you’ll get the idea.

And there was blood, and gore, GORE I tell you. And I would have taken a photo, but obviously I was busy bleeding to death, so that didn’t happen, but I’m kind of regretting it now, because now it has had time to heal, and looks like nothing, which ultimately makes me sound like big wuss. Which I may be. Who knows.

So I’ve decided against taking a photo now, because no one wants to look at a perfectly healthy and intact elbow, and if anyone deserves blood and gore, it’s definitely you. I know you love it.

 

4) Milk explosion extravaganza bonanza of 2009.

 

See last entry.

 

5) Forgot my cell phone at work. On a Friday.

 

This I managed to discover before I got home (yay me!), so I went back to get my phone, but also knew I would have tremendous pain in the ass work alarm to deal with.

Now, when you let yourself in at work, you’ll have to enter a password quickquickquick or the alarm will go off, and the security people will bill you 100 billion $.

Of course the password is a completely obscure combination of letters, numbers, dancing and waving of sage etc.

The password to the alarm is of course on my damn phone, because what the hell do I know about dancemoves (quite a lot actually), so I would have to let myself in, haul ass to my desk to get phone, haul ass back to the alarm and enter password, before being shot in the kneecaps, by nazi security people.

I took a short moment of zen outside the door, then waved my keycard  in deep concentration and ranranranranranran fastfastfastfastfast, and after a few feet I realized that the alarm had not gone off, alarm was silent, maybe even dead. So I went back, to see what was wrong, only to see my boss with a bewildered look on his face peeking out at me from his office, all “what’s the rush?” and “the alarm is not on you idiot!”.

Then followed delightful conversation of: “Ha,ha,ha, well I forgot my phone you see, and the password dance routine is on my phone, so… eeeeh, well ha,ha… ha?”

 

And that’s about…. It. I’ve probably forgot something, but you’ll just have to forgive me until I think of something else. In the meantime I will keep an eye out for shady kitchen appliances, and just, you know, try to be safe.